Health Tarot reading

I asked "How will my surgery and recovery go?" and used 3 cards, to represent basically the different times- i.e the first seems to be talking about now, then the recovery, then once i've recovered.

First card- Knight of wands

Keywords- Creativity, Success

(book) Whatever you've been waiting for begins to materialize, perhaps in the form of the charismatic Knight himself, or as an inspiring, entrepreneurial phase. Knights bring energy and action, so events are likely to speed up as projects progress and the right conversations take place to bring about the success you desire.

Me: Thank you! Please, already!!

Second card- Temperance

Keywords- Balance, hope, reconciliation, transformation

An angel pours water from one pitcher into another, bringing together opposite forces. The water symbolizes emotions and the flow of energy, ideas and people; the angel stands partly in the water, but her other foot rests on the earth, to show physical and emotional alchemy. The irises are named after the Greek goddes, Iris, whose rainbow symbolizes hope.

Meaning (in the book): Moderation, balance and patience are essential for the control of volatile influences and opposing demands. There is potential for progress as a business, relationship, or family grows; use your experience and diplomacy to harmonize conflict and keep projects moving forward. This card also suggests reconciliation, so relationships can be repaired.

What it tells me: Patience in recovery. I will feel like it might be taking awhile of course but with patience I will recover.

Third card- The Empress

Keywords- Fertility, motherhood, affection, a secure relationship, beauty

The consort of card IV, The Emperor, The Empress represents motherhood and all women, signified by the symbols of Venus on her dress. The apple blossom expresses growth and fertility. Her shield carries the royal insignia of the eagle, linking her with her husband's lineage, and she holds an orb of state.

Meaning (book): Happiness, beauty, and a nurturing, harmonious home. A good omen for relationships in terms of commitment and stability, the Empress may predict marriage and pregnancy. In a younger person's reading, she can reveal the positive influence of a mother or mother figure, and her appearance also shows good health and balanced relationships.

Me: Yay! Notice-good health and Happiness. Also yes I felt good about this card, about the whole spread actually, minus a bit eh at of course the recovery but I already knew that recovery will take awhile. Stomach surgery is no joke!

Slow progress, very slow

I swear we need to get this show on the road already (my hernia surgery) stupid cyst is causing delay and this thing can't afford any more delay, just trust me on that one. The ostomy is so hard to get on and only stays for barely 3 days anymore, about 1/2 the time it used to. Anyway moving on...

My daily tarot card today was page of wands

Keywords- Cautious progress

The Page brings good news, and predicts that several pressing matters will command your attention. He wards you to check the facts rather than believe everything you hear. As a person, the Page is a natural talker, full of loquacious charm but easily bored. You may need to assess what is truth and what is hearsay, and resist becoming caught up in his gossipy world.

Makes sense to me for today. Sorry this blog has been lacking the last couple of days. I will make up for it! :0) I have been slacking lately.

Fuckityfuckfuckfuck!

Warning: Rant post about serious medical issues! Also I...screw it I do NOT apologize for the cursing! Normally I make sure to be really good about that, today FUCK IT!

We are waiting on a chart coming from washington twnshp that will tell them exactly what bloodwork needs to be done pre-surgery (yay i'll look like a pin cushion again) then we can make an apt for the surgery and the pre-surgery checkup with my regular doctor for the bloodwork. I will keep you all updated, sorry it is taking longer than we thought. They said the chart takes a few days.

My cat scan pics show that my 1 remaining ovary now has a cyst on it, just like my other one did. I NEED THIS OVARY!!!! I can NOT take the hormones needed from lacking both ovaries as they increase risk of blood clot which thanks to my HUGE hemangioma I am at HIGH risk for!! And if I lose this last ovary that means early menopause which would put me at risk for a SHITLOAD of other things!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO, and now they need to talk to my gyno...and and and.......ASHILDHSKGHSDIKJLHFA!!!!!!!!!! not to mention all that hemangioma is also inside me which made getting my other ovary a HIGH risk surgery (that it was hard to even find a doctor willing to attempt it) and very dangerous because if they nik it (and it's a jumbled mess in there) I could quickly bleed to death.

I also need to get my bladder looked at for other things.

FHAILTHISARNFKIDHGSUIDTHFNKSU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think coffee is giving me a headache

I still don't know what day the surgery will be. They are supposed to call my fiance's cell and he is at work so i'll have to wait until he is done work to know if they called today.

Since I think i've been drinking monster too often (1 16oz can a day) I wanted to have a little variety, for my throat and stomach's sake, and got coffee. Coffee is disgusting, even with a bunch of creamer, though I tried cappuccino and I liked that :D. Also the coffee maker also makes hot cocoa so that is always nice. For some reason the coffee (not the cappuccino though) appears to give me a headache. Thing is I have a headache without caffeine because i'm so tired thanks to my medical issues even if I get enough sleep, so it isn't the caffeine giving me the headache, I think it's the acid. Ugh.

My daily tarot card for the day was Knight of wands, which has keywords of creativity and success. I'm kind of wondering if it is referring to my sims LOL. Good card either way!

Spring during winter and altar stuff

Harley has been making excuses the past couple days to not go shopping for some things we needed and with my hernias and tendinitis i'm not supposed to be doing that myself but oh well, I went out and did most of it today. I couldn't get a couple things, I'm not allowed to pick up anything heavier than a gallon of milk but I got what I could, despite the tendinitis in my feet and the hernias on my stomach not being happy about it. Enough complaining though as I am home now and man is it hot outside! It's January in the middle of winter....but I think the weather forgot that. Shh...don't remind it! Lol. On another note though I worry about global warming, the evidence is overwhelming and yes I believe in global warming. I am glad in a way though for the warm weather as 1 I broke my arm as a kid and the cold hurts my arm 2 Propane heat is EXPENSIVE so I was able to turn off the heat today it's so hot, woohoo! 3 It was nice out :) Enjoyed nature a bit today while I was out.

I did my daily tarot reading today and got the 10 of wands

Since it has unillustrated pips (minors) I had to read the book. I'm going to try not to use the book as much as possible but unillustrated pips might drive me nuts lol. Here it was it says

Keywords- A burden

There is much responsibility to shoulder, and agreements you made in the past have become a great burden. As well as having too much work to do, you may be carrying financial or moral burdens. When this card appears early in a reading, it can also be a sign that you are feeling overwhelmed. You may need to lay out the cards again when you have a little more mental space.

That does indeed describe my day so far. Whew!

I also took some pics of my altar and stuff. The altar is not set up right but it does show stuff lol. The tea lights are electric since I had the fire and now i'm scared of fire. Also they are safer! Baby steps :)

Stuff in the drawers. Yes my BOS looks pathetic but my other one got destroyed after all, though it was also a 3 ring binder..it may not look great but it's practical for me right now.

Progress and Growth

Well I feel like crap from lack of sleep. Besides that though the Dr. Apt. went well today, we know the "attack" plan for the surgery, the secretary will call next week to schedule it.

In other news I tried a couple spreads today, one of them being the mind-body-spirit spread. I really need to stick with doing them in the room and not out on my computer lol.

Mind-8 of pentacles
Body-4 of pentacles
Spirit-3 of cups

Mind-it feels like there will be an opportunity of some sort that I should take to help with my mental issues, I have PTSD and I think that is what it is referring to.

Body- This card is a positive card for health matters, indicating recovery, so recovery from my upcoming surgery perhaps?

Spirit- Right away I felt great from seeing this card, before even reading the book on it (I am beginning after all). It's keywords are Growth, Healing and Celebration.

I think I need to do a "card a day" type thing and meditate on each of the cards. Writing down what I feel and get from them.

I have been working, well I wouldn't call it working, on feeling the God and Goddess in nature everywhere. God of the sun and Goddess of the moon (obviously there is much more to it than that). I don't know how to describe it but it's amazing. They are both needed for life. Also feeling the sun helps me a bit in fighting my fear of fire now since the...fire...as the sun is needed for all life, it helps keep us warm and from freezing to death and makes the earth and plants come alive in spring but is still nurturing them even now and of course...it's a big ball of fire...that we can't live without. It is helping me to try to get over my fear of fire and what my brain wants to think, which is fire bad, bad bad bad!! Fire is powerful, it needs to be respected, it can destroy but it also brings life and without it we'd be dead. It must be respected, not abused and even through destruction some good is born. It may not be obvious at first but from every destruction some good is eventually born, and i'm already seeing that in my life.

Dr. Apt tomorrow

Well first I went outside as it's night-time now and while I know it's a new moon, well close to it, even when you can't see the moon you can still feel her energies, however it might be a bit harder but she is still there so I went out for a couple minutes and enjoyed the night. I am going to try to go out twice a day, morning and night. Even though I can't stay out long at night this time of year, it's freezing!

I have a Dr. Apt tomorrow to look at the cat scan pics of my parastomal hernia and have the official game plan made of how it shall be fixed. We already know I need surgery but there are many ways to go about it and parastomal hernia's are not always made equal, and this has gotten very bad :(. Also the surgery should be scheduled tomorrow morning. I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow, YAY.....not. Ugh I am not a morning person. Well I'll keep ya updated on when the surgery will be when I find out. I did ask the tarot, using 1 card, how tomorrow's Dr. Apt will go...I got The Hierophant, Keywords- wisdom, practical knowledge, divinity, guidance, and progress. I am taking this as a good sign, I felt good from the mini-reading, so hopefully it goes well tomorrow!

Prayers and chants

A Morning Prayer

Oh Great Goddess
Bless this day
Keep me safe and whole

Oh Great Goddess
Bless my path
Help me to act on thy wisdom

Oh Great Goddess
Bless my family
All life on this Earth

~ Abby Willowroot © 1999

Night Prayer

Thank You Great Goddess for this day
for the blessings and lessons that came my way
May my sleep be peaceful in dreams and rest
and tomorrow may I do my best

~ Abby Willowroot © 1999

Thank You For This Day

Thank You for this day on Earth
Ancient Mother who gave me birth
Healing Mother who keeps me strong
Crone Mother who brings each new dawn

Thank You for the gift of being
For blessing me with the wonders of seeing
For the sounds and feeling of laughter
and the wisdom learned through pain

Spirit Mother bless me, tomorrow with a day again

~ Abby Willowroot © 1999

My Morning Prayer

Bless this day
keep me safe and whole
kind and compassionate

Bless my path today
Help me to act with wisdom
and live in perpetual gratitude

Bless my human family
who are everywhere & everyone
Bless the creatures and plants
May all life be blessed on this day

~ Abby Willowroot 2008

Healing Chant

Deep in my Bone
the Goddess is alive
Deep in my cells and blood
the Life Force is strong
Deep in my heart and spirit
I believe I will heal
I feel the Goddess at my core
filling me with faith and health
Abundant Life Forces of the Universe
flow in me, and banish all disease
My blood, my bones, my cells and my body
are healing now, are healing now
The Goddess force is in me
and healing me now

~ Abby Willowroot © 1999

Elements Hymn

At one with the Universe
My spirit is free
All creation pulses in me
Floating upon the wind
Sparking with the energy of fire
Flowing with the waters
Dancing the rhythms of Earth
Spinning and Spiraling
into Elemental re-birth
The magic of being renews
Floating upon the wind
Sparking with the energy of fire
Flowing with the waters
Dancing the rhythms of Earth
Between the Moon and Sun

~ Abby Willowroot © 1999

Prayer of Passage

Oh Goddess
There is great sadness
A cherished one has gone

Emptyness engulfs me
Loss languishes within
Help me bear this grief

Accompany their spirit
Comfort we who grieve
Let us rejoice in their life

May their essence be recorded
In the Great Book of Shadows
Renew our remembrance with joy

~ Abby Willowroot © 1999

Bless This Food

Thank Thee Great Goddess
For the bounty before me
A gift of thy great abundance
Thank you for sustaining my life
I receive your gift of food in gratitude

~ Abby Willowroot © 1999

Thank You Goddess

Oh Goddess
Bless this food
Which is your body
Bless this day
With your abundance
Bless my spirit
With your light
Thank you great Protectress

~ Abby Willowroot © 1999

Prayer for Strength

Goddess Mother help me
to be patient and strong
to see what is truly important
to act without selfishness or fear

Goddess Mother help me
to trust your wisdom
to resist the coward's way
to walk in faith and compassion
to be truly human in spirit and heart

~ Abby Willowroot © 2000

All these prayers I got from THIS site, there are many more great ones there if you want to check them out!

Me and my little family

These are pictures already on my computer, I haven't looked for the SD card yet i'm just going to ask Harley (my fiance) where it is when he gets done work. He might have it on him still.

Me

My fiance Harley playing with one of our fur babies

Our oldest fur baby Mandi, 4 years old

Another fur baby, our biggest, 1 1/2 years old Bear

And last but not least, Fuzzball (my 3 and 4 year old nieces named her), she is now about 5 months old, these pics may have been taken a bit ago

Enjoying Nature

This morning I have went outside, as i'm going to start doing more often, and sat on the ground in the sunshine, just feeling the sun's warmth, energy, how it is necessary for us and the earth to survive, feeling the earth and grass, just enjoying and getting closer to nature. I would take more pictures right now but I have no idea what happened to the SD card, I think my fiance put it somewhere and I don't know where, i'll find it though.

I can't help but wonder what neighbors think of this. I don't live in "town" it's really in the woods, not crowded but still plenty of neighbors but we each have our own space. I can't help but think they're thinking "What is that crazy woman doing just sitting on the ground for a bit fiddling with the grass?" lol but I'm sitting in my own pretty big yard (well I rent but you get the point) not making noise or being disturbing in any way just quietly sitting in my own yard, on the ground. I might sit on the porch steps but that is in shadows and it's cold..and I can't even get my dang jacket around my hernia. Yea I have a parastomal hernia from an ostomy, I see the dr tomorrow to go over the cat scan pics and make the official game plan and schedule the surgery. It will be about a 5 day hospital stay (though I can take my laptop with me) and quite a bit of recovering at home afterwards but I should still be able to get on the computer like usual so I shouldn't be gone :). I might even take a pic of me in my hospital gown in the hospital lol, we'll see ;).

So after that I did a daily tarot reading for the day and got 8 of cups. This is what the book says of it.

A change of heart

The eight reveals an important decision affecting an established relationship. This move has been considered carefully, and you or the other person has taken a long-term view and decided to take action. It is likely that a romance has come to a standstill, and the only way to resolve this is for one, or both, of you to step away. A sacrifice now means you may both have happier futures.

I think, going with what my intuition, that it is telling me about an important decision today, possibly to do with someone. Or a change of heart somewhere. I will have to see how today goes.

And now I have yet to each so brunch I shall eat.

My birth chart

A short one apparently

Your sun sign is Aquarius. This is the sign in which the Sun is in your birth chart. Your Ascendant is in Libra, and your Moon is in Aries.

Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Aries

Your nature is essentially firm and quiet without much self-expression. Yet a great deal of determination can be read into your silence. Your will is exceptionally strong, and you must have things your own way. You often go to extremes in exerting your will over others. Your perceptions are highly acute, and you are an accurate judge of human nature. Your abilities lie in investigating, coordinating, and synthesizing, which you use to achieve a personal understanding of the truths of the world.

In love you remain independent; however, your feelings are easily aroused. Here, too, you want to take the lead in establishing the course of the relationship. The key to a more harmonious self lies in learning to submit to working and cooperating with others, even though it is difficult for you to accept a subordinate position.

Ascendant in Libra, Venus in the Fourth House

At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Libra was ascending in the horizon.

Its ruler Venus is located in the fourth house.

This denotes a life in which the native adopts an attitude which is courteous, kind, and affectionate.

People with Libra Ascendant are basically motivated by feeling and emotion rather than intellectuality. Your life will demonstrate your keenness of observation, and a tendency to effect comparisons largely of an aesthetic nature. You will not display too much energy in your actions and, therefore, there is a tendency toward following routine and the lines of the least resistance. You are a sympathetic person who seeks the approval of others and is also very adaptable. Your intuition is remarkable and you derive sensual gratification from engaging in social intercourse, by loving all social aspects of life.

If you do not control this tendency to be so involved in human relationships, you may become too attached and over dependent.

Some restlessness, changeability and lack of persistence is noted in your life. Your main feature is that of constantly favoring the fusing of two things or people together.

Unfortunately, this involvement with harmonizing and adjusting people to one another, tends to make the native a little unrealistic and lacking in action. You will be, however, easy going and congenial, socially oriented and preoccupied with adornments, clothing, social conventions, standards, and aesthetics. In love, if you cause the relationship to be a serious one, you will find that the affair is the consequence of your own interest in flattering yourself rather than to satisfy any profound emotion. Professionally, you will be inclined to activities which require a high degree of culture and even artistic knowledge.

Venus, the ruler of your life events, is found located in the fourth house. In connection with your own house, Venus tends to make it beautiful, kind, and with a tendency to very harmonious relationships between your parents and yourself. You are very preoccupied with the aesthetic condition of your private dwelling. What should you expect at the end of your life? Venus indicates a peaceful old age, surrounded by comfort, having successfully achieved all your hopes and desires.

Saturn in the Third House

Saturn appeared in the third house at the time of your birth. This planet brings an aura of objectivity and contriving to all mental functions; the general attitude is reserved, serious, and lacking in dynamism, warmth and flexibility. You are a thinker and a slow, but determined planner.

The struggle to realize your life plans might be difficult, and you will receive little assistance from persons close to you.

You tend to worry needlessly or give excessive attention to plans which will yield very little in relation to the effort invested. We advise you to plan things carefully and realistically without overdoing it.

Saturn here represents duties that you must comply with and which are of an intellectual nature. It also points to tests of character occurring at critical points of human relationship, which can only be successfully "passed" by developing an altruistic and compassionate nature that will make pardon and forgiveness feasible.

Venus in the Fourth House

Venus was found in the fourth house at the time of your birth. This is usually a very favorable and fruitful position that grants excellent family relationships within peaceful and beautiful environments.

This position indicates many social affairs, feasts, parties, celebrations, and related activities.

Near the end of your life you should experience financial gain and an overall economic improvement.

A natural lover of country life and nature, you will find many opportunities to gratify these sentiments.

Sun in the Fifth House

The Sun was found in the fifth house at the time of your birth. This is a very significant location for the Sun.

There seems to be a progressive and gradual expansion of your feelings, especially the generative ones, throughout the years. Your life is oriented towards success in matters of enterprises, businesses, speculations, and society and pleasurable activities. Your love life promises to be very rich and will list many rewarding emotional attachments. In love you conduct yourself with dignity and certain poise. Your pride is very sensitive in matters connected with your emotional nature. You are easily injured if your possessiveness and majesty in love is threatened. You can be very magnanimous and forgiving with the object of your love, and you will extend many positive qualities along with natural protection and strength.

Moon in the Seventh House

The Moon was found in the seventh house at the time of your birth.

Exciting romance may occur at an early stage in life. We must warn you, however, that unless modified by further interpretations, the partner may have fluctuating affections.

You're also one of those who throughout the relationship manifests a great variety of personality roles and who seldom shows in intimacy her real nature.

Planetary positions

planet sign degree motion
Sun Aquarius 22°21'40 in house 5 direct
Moon Aries 28°15'15 in house 7 direct
Mercury Capricorn 27°31'08 in house 4 direct
Venus Aquarius 9°15'39 in house 4 direct
Mars Taurus 13°03'44 in house 8 direct
Jupiter Taurus 26°53'32 in house 8 direct
Saturn Capricorn 10°08'13 in house 3 direct
Uranus Capricorn 3°58'31 in house 3 direct
Neptune Capricorn 11°22'32 in house 3 direct
Pluto Scorpio 15°10'52 in house 2 direct
True Node Pisces 4°55'54 in house 5 direct

House positions (Placidus)

Ascendant Libra 14°43'55
2nd House Scorpio 12°02'07
3rd House Sagittarius 13°10'28
Imum Coeli Capricorn 16°56'33
5th House Aquarius 20°08'36
6th House Pisces 19°46'12
Descendant Aries 14°43'55
8th House Taurus 12°02'07
9th House Gemini 13°10'28
Medium Coeli Cancer 16°56'33
11th House Leo 20°08'36
12th House Virgo 19°46'12

Major aspects

Sun Sextile Moon 5°54
Sun Square Jupiter 4°32
Sun Square Pluto 7°11
Sun Trine Ascendant 7°38
Moon Square Mercury 0°44
Moon Trine Uranus 5°43
Mercury Trine Jupiter 0°38
Venus Square Mars 3°48
Venus Square Pluto 5°55
Venus Trine Ascendant 5°28
Mars Trine Saturn 2°56
Mars Trine Neptune 1°41
Mars Opposition Pluto 2°07
Mars Quincunx Ascendant 1°40
Saturn Conjunction Neptune 1°14
Saturn Sextile Pluto 5°03
Saturn Square Ascendant 4°36
Neptune Sextile Pluto 3°48
Neptune Square Ascendant 3°21
Numbers indicate orb (deviation from the exact aspect angle).

All this stuff makes my head hurt right now, it's midnight. I got this reading from www.astro.com. A free short report. I don't understand much of it but eh, I hope to someday understand it all.

13 goals of a witch

1. Know yourself.
2. Know your craft.
3. Learn.
4. Apply knowledge with wisdom.
5. Achieve balance.
6. Keep your words in good order.
7. Keep your thoughts in good order.
8. Celebrate life!
9. Attune with the cycles of the earth.
10. Breathe and eat correctly.
11. Exercise the body.
12. Meditate.
13. Honor the God and Goddess

I plan on doing the best I can at all of these however I am severely limited in #11 thanks to all my medical issues. #10 as well. Dang medical issues :( Obviously sending your butt to the hospital and out of commission for awhile is not recommended (from experience many many times over simple little things normal healthy people take for granted that they can do with ease). I will work on taking the best care of myself that I can though, it's even more important that I do with my medical issues.

The elements in relation to the pentacle

Daily Wicca

Charge of the God and Goddess

Charge of the Goddess

I am the beauty of the green Earth and the white Moon, and the mysteries of the waters. From me all things proceed and unto me they must return. Let my worship be in the heart that rejoices, for all acts of pleasure are my rituals. Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, mirth and reverence within you. And you who seek to know me, know that your seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the mystery: If that which you seek, you find not within yourself you will never find without. For behold. . . I have been with you from the beginning, and I am which is attained at the end of desire.

Charge of the God

I am the radiant king of the heavans, flooding the Earth with warmth and encouraging the hidden seed of creation to burst forth into manifestation. I lift my shining spear to light the lives of all beings and daily pour forth my gold upon the Earth, putting to flight the powers of darkness. I am the master of the wild beasts wild and free. I run with the swift stag and soar as a sacred falcon against the shimmering sky. The ancient woods and wild places emanate my powers, and the birds of the air sing of my sanctity.

I am also the last harvest, offering my fruits beneath the sickle of time so that all may be nourished. For without planting there can be no harvest, without winter no spring. Worship me as the thousand-named sun of creation, the spirit of the horned stag in the wild, the endless harvest. See in the yearly cycle of the festivals my birth, death and rebirth, and know such is the destiny of all creation. I am the spark of life, the radiant sun, the giver of peace and rest, and I send rays of blessings to warm the hearts and strengthen the minds of all.

The Wiccan rede

Bide the Wiccan Law ye must,
In perfect love and perfect trust.
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill:
An' ye harm none, do what ye will.

What ye send forth comes back to thee
So ever mind the law of three.
Follow this with mind and heart,
Merry ye meet, and merry ye part.

Hearing the truth, even when it hurts

I did 3 readings today with the tarot. The first a daily card for the day, the second a 1 card reading about a particular situation and then the third reading was the Golden Shadow Spread.

Daily Janurary 9th, 2013

Two of cups (I'd put a picture but I can't find one specifically of the two of cups with google and I have to wait a couple days before I can use my camera)

A love Commitment

This card indicates a happy relationship and a promise, such as an engagement or marriage. Close friendships and creative teams are also favored, as you communicate perfectly and reach agreement easily. An additional meaning of the two is reconciliation, so if there has been recent discord, rifts will soon be healed.

:-) Yay for a good day

The question I then asked for a second reading was if it was a idea to go through with moving to Harley's Aunt Ev's house come late this year once they move and our lease here is up, we'd take over the mortgage and all and it would end up being ours when we are done paying it off (they are getting too big a family for the house- it's plenty of room for us).

I worded it as "Is the deal with Aunt Ev's house a good idea?"

Seven of pentacles

Keyword- Perseverance

The seven indicates that there is great potential for you to achieve your goals. From a promotion to learning a new skill, renovating your home to managing your finances, you have everything you need for success. This is just the beginning, however, so be determined; you will need to apply continued effort to maximize your potential. Do not deviate from your chosen path.

Well that makes perfect sense! Also, it's a nice card for this! It of course does have to do with finances, goals on a new home for ourselves that is OURS, it will take effort to go through it all of course but i'm optimistic that it will be very worth it in the end!

Golden Shadow Spread

My highest potential ended up in the Mental spread. Now with what happened with the cards I can see they are trying to tell me something very important, and hard to hear. Mental is not what I expected it to be in, I expected it in spiritual actually due to all my medical issues, some mental trauma and emotional issues. However the mental trauma seems to be what the cards are trying to talk to me about.

1. What aids me in developing my highest potential?

Reversed nine of swords

Keyword- Martyrdom

You may be feeling trapped by a sense of despair that is becoming all too familiar, so that it is virtually impossible to recognize a good thing when it comes along. Try to acknowledge that this way of thinking is becoming a pattern, and reject this self-appointed martyrdom; it's an all-too convenient way to avoid the real issues.

2. What hinders me in developing my highest potential?

Reversed Sun

Delay and frustration. Your goal is just out of reach. Work or illness obstructs plans, and the paradise you had envisaged is perilously close to slipping away. Vacations are canceled, or a relationship does not materialize. Physically, your energy levels may be depleted.

3. A possible outcome once you have formed and developed your highest potential.

Reversed Devil

Obsession, such as an unahppy, destructive affair. When reversed the devil shows an inability or unwillingness to break a bond that has no future, due to immaturity, desperation, or low self-esteem. This card may indicate a struggle with addiction.

Now this seems like a very very sad reading, it is. At first I was like why the hell are they all reversed? I ended up accidentally reversing some and at first I was like oops maybe I should try that again but then I looked at the cards and read them...and realized I reversed them "accidentally" on purpose, it was supposed to be that way. I don't want to get into details but this reading is trying to tell me some hard truths that are hard to hear right now. After being abused and manipulated years ago by an ex, now a horrible traumatic house fire, that seems that it was NOT an accident but I can not talk about it, I have some issues. I can't even make it all out 100% on this reading but I will try and do my best in everything from now on and hope that everything gets better with time. I am not giving up. And while I don't want to hear it, I have to hear it so in that respect I do want to. Seems like the cards will tell me the truth even when the truth is not what I want to hear, and for that I am happy. :)

My Tarot readings the past few days

I have recently, like just the past few days, started seriously learning/practicing with the tarot. One of my friends got me a new tarot deck :). The Golden Tarot by Liz Dean. I had the rider-waite and crowley thoth decks before the fire but didn't ever try to do anything with them. Well what's a better tarot deck then one that is a gift? I have no idea, it's awesome! So i've started working with them.

January 5th, 2013

I seriously just typed 2012 there for a second...lol. I do not want to go back to 2012! Anyway I tried 2 drawings of a daily card for the day.

The first one was the Eight of cups, which I couldn't make sense of from reading the description of the card in the book but I have just looked it up some more and that card can mean moving on and weariness. Both of which make perfect sense in my life right now. Moving on from the fire in a new home and new life, new year, moving on with my spiritual self and journey finally. Weariness, I have a parastomal hernia right now not to mention all my other medical issues and I need yet another surgery so yea...i'm weary every day especially lately from that.

The second one I got was Nine of swords the keywords being Suffering and Victimization. It mentioned danger of being a victim of stress and anxiety and being run down. It also said I do have the inner strength to get through this testing time. Yes i'm using the book for help right now, i'm literally just beginning (and I write all this down in a tarot journel as i'm doing it hence i'm referring to that).

I have been under a lot more stress than I am used to lately, huge dangerous parastomal hernia needing yet another surgery, a fire that I almost died in and lost my home, 3 kittens and everything I had, and was homeless for a bit with my medical conditions making that VERY hard. If I didn't have awesome family and friends, I wouldn't be here and for them I am thankful, very thankful. I have PTSD from past abuse from an ex and now the fire so yea, I am very anxious about everything to do with fire now as well. I want nothing to do with it right now but I am trying my best. If you didn't catch it, yes I am run down right now. I don't always see the fact I have the inner strength to get through this trying time, i've been through a lot before, my whole life has been a bunch of hardships and obstacles but lately, with the fire and all, it's been harder then it has ever been and I can't help but wonder...how much can 1 person take? Obviously a lot from what i've seen but isn't there a limit? I can't help but think I may have approached that limit sometimes but I am taking it 1 day at a time and I realize I could be so much worse so I will count my blessings. I hope it's right that I have the inner strength to get through this.

Janurary 7th, 2013 (I forgot to do anything on January 6th)

I did a 3 card spread asking about my hernia and the upcoming surgery. Past, Present and Future.

Past- Six of wands- Keywords- Triumph, reward- basically I was happy to finally to get this colostomy last year.

Present- Five of cups- Keyword- Unhappiness- yea...HUGE parastomal hernia that happened shortly after getting the ostomy and has gotten worse and worse...and WORSE and is now dangerously large and I will be getting another surgery soon. Yes I am unhappy.

Future- Four of cups- Keyword- Boredom. Well I know I will be bored in the hospital for about 5 days and then at home recovering while I take it easy. So I figure this all makes sense. Also means quiet period of adjustment and I will get a hernia belt that I know will not be comfortable but I will have to wear afterwards, all the time.

Daily- Eight of Pentacles- Keyword- Opportunity

From what it said about the card I may be working on my spiritual self and more and I will feel valued by it. It is advisable to accept the opportunity/invitation as it will give me what I need. From further education to a small project I will love the time I invest now in my development and training as it will benefit me in the future. It mentions financially as well, I am not so sure about that but who knows, time will tell. I think i'll enjoy it either way, yeehaw! lol

Januray 8th, 2013 (today)

Daily- The heirophant (also the Ace of pentacles fell out while I was shuffling the deck and I heard, and feel that it is right, that when a card falls out like that that it means that card is particularly important as well.

The heirophant- Keywords- Wisdom, practical, knowledge, divinity, guidance, progress

One of the things this card denotes is of a spiritual dimension so it can indicate that I am about to embark on a new course of learning that will bring me closer to my soul's purpose.

This sounds friggin awesome! I have already decided to start seriously studying more about Wicca and Paganism (I do know the basics and stuff and have practiced a little but I am still very new and know I have a lot to learn, I haven't done much and I also know you never stop learning, or at least you never should. There is always more to learn, and I am excited by this) and have just put my plans, finally, into action. Also...closer to my soul's purpose? I hope so! I am disabled and constantly wonder what the heck my purpose is in life, but working on my spirituality I think i've found it, or at least part of it. :) I love this card!! lol

The Ace of pentacles

I honestly forgot to look if it fell reversed or not, I quickly picked it up not thinking. It was right side up but I don't know if it was reversed or not. Not reversed- it talks of material success and bringing about reassurance after a period of uncertainty. A happy, comfortable and prosperous time. Reversed- Financial loss, the opposite... o.0

My introduction post

Hi. My name is Stephanie. I am a 20 something year old woman born and raised in South Jersey of the USA and a Wiccan. I have major medical issues that I do not wish to talk about, or at least not much, on this blog. Please refer to another blog Here if you wish to know more about them. I also had a house fire recently, with info on that same blog. I hope to keep this blog entirely separate though.

Because of the fire I have to start a new BOS and while I will (again) hand write it I plan on keeping it online as well so in case something happens again (please no!) I will not have to lose all that information....AGAIN!!! GAH!!!!!! So this blog will include stuff just for that purpose but also anything of value, interesting, whatever I feel like, to my journey and progress in Wicca and my life of that matter.

Welcome to my blog and blessed be!